Chiaroscuro/Confessions

Dude, I was digging through the diaperwear bag, and this green M&M fell on the floor. Then this kid ran between my legs and pushed the stroller out of the way to get it, and he popped it in his mouth.

[Error: unknown template qotd]Zeno Alpha

[Error: unknown template qotd] The time that burger king wrote Allah sideways on their ice cream cone packaging.

OK. This is not a joke, it's not funny, and it is dire.

I am so poor right now, I can't even pay attention.

Leonard Cohen is coming to town April 3rd 2009, and I don't have a ticket. Unless one of my peeps takes me, I can not go.
That would be a tragedy I will never recover from, as he is in his 70s, and it is not likely that I will ever have the chance to see him again. He is my ultimate favorite poet and musician, and I have memories of my mother singing "Suzanne" to me when I was a baby.

It would mean the world to me to see him in person.

This is my 3rd cry for help, and not my final. I will wail and moan and cry until someone decides to take me.

I will be the prettiest date you ever had. I will wear either my 1950s see through lace dress, or my 1930s dragon lady dress (once owned by the famous dancer "Mimi"), your choice. And I will cook for you, make you some jewelry, and a hat. Or make you a another piece of art.

I am seriously begging, and I am desperate. If you love Leonard Cohen as much as I do, then you understand why I have been reduced to begging.

I know the tickets are expensive, but if you are going anyways, what's one more ticket? Really, I will clean your house, and do your chores. I will organize your messy computer.

Let me know your terms.

Love,
Amanda

My Hindi sign language is not so good

Do I have any Houston contacts willing to courtier two visas to Dallas in the morning?
I pay round trip ticket and owe big favor.

*EDIT*: David found a passport/visa guy (at 10:30 at night) who will make the impossible happen (including dealing with bureaucrats, politicians, professors, clerks, and the evil flight attendent [waitress]). If you need a good passport/visa guy, let me know.

[Error: unknown template qotd] Here's the truth about the freezer light: you know how the fridge light is on when you open the door? Well, the freezer light is only on when you shut the door! How 'bout that?!

I've seen a few Abraham Lincoln beards.

What do y'all think of the Space elevator idea?
Are we supposed to have stuff sticking out like that? What if it makes Earth more wobbly, or something weird like that?
I think it would be cool if it works.

Which Egyptian God(dess) Are YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Ptah You are Ptah. Ptah created the universe with the help of Khnum and Djehuty (Thoth). He ordered the chaos that was the Nun by speaking. He is the patron of craftspeople. He is portrayed as a mummiform man holding scepters of life, stability and dominion. Ptah 90% Nut 80% Aset 80% Amun 75% Sekhmet 75% Wepwawet 75% Ra 75% Bast 75% Set 70% Yinepu 70% Seshat 70% Nit 70% Hethert 70% Bes 65% Serqet 65% Heru-sa-Aset 55% Heru-wer 55% Nebthet 55% Wesir 50% Djehuty 50%